Something Soft: My Security Blanket

I think that when it comes to being with (other) women, we find solace away from the male abusive sexual relationships. I have a friend who lives here locally with a drug dealer. She always comes to me for that comfort. Her life really sucks. It really does. The guy she lives with says you can’t turn a hoe into a housewife. That’s what he thinks of her. All she wants is to be the housewife so to speak. Consequently, they don’t have sex. She gives him a blowjob. She gets crack. And she says she doesn’t want it to be like that. And I’m like well, that’s the relationship you’re in. She will come and want to be with me, because she’s very uncomfortable in her situation. It’s not a loving relationship and who better to understand than another woman whose been through that. You can find that comfort there.

My female partner that doesn’t live around here is the same way. We really find that comfort because we can call each other and say “I got stood up on a date and this happened and that happened and men suck and I’m gonna come see you”. I guess I’m glad to see that as a gender we can at least hold each other down. Keep each other moving somehow. Hold each other up.

That’s been my experience; the women that I am involved with have also had very bad sexual experiences with men. And I also know of another couple of lesbian couple that have had children out of rapes and never went back to a guy ever again. Being with another woman makes sense in my mind given the situations. And I could actually see myself in a long-term relationship with a woman. I really could. Just because I know it would feel safe. Even though I’ve known of abusive women, its not as common and it wouldn’t be likely that I would connect with a woman who was aggressive. I’m looking for soft. Softness. ​