Journal Entry for Diary of Alphonse Frankenstein: As my Family Falls Apart

Alphonse Frankenstein Is feeling the weight of the death of his son more than he thought and this death only reminds more so of that one that came to pass earlier on. The pain of having lost Caroline is brought back into his mind, and he thinks to himself if things would be any different had she still been around. Would Victor have turned out different? Would poor William still be with them? Would anything be different or would they still be in the state of depression that they are in right now. Alphonse is feeling responsible for something but he doesn’t know what. Is it for Williams’s death? Is it for the state Victor sees himself in, not being able to help? Maybe it’s a multitude of things. But maybe it’s really that he feels he has failed as a father. Not only did he lose his wife but also his son. He was powerless to stop either death from occurring. He’s unable to help Victor. To actually figure out what’s actually wrong with him. He feels useless because try as he might Victor still seems to disapprove of his father, emotions he never expressed towards his mother who he loved deeply and held in high admiration. He feels as if he is not good enough to solve his families problems and unable to affect anything in the grand theme of things. And as Victor’s condition shows no signs of bettering, that is a constant reminder to him that he is not doing what is necessary of him as a father. He feels guilt for the death of his loved ones and for his inability to do anything to help those still around. Maybe if Caroline was still around she’d know what to do but she was lost long ago. And now so was William. He tries to get over these haunting memories but in his dreams, the thoughts of pain and guilt which he tried so desperately to lock deep within his unconscious so as to continue on with his duties are unlocked and follow him in his dreams. It is his own punishment for not being able to do more and to do what he is responsible for in making his family happy.