By Vivian Deng (Fall 2022)
Although the idea of romantic courtship comes up in many medieval and renaissance texts, none show the gender roles and power imbalances quite like Sir Phillip Sidney’s Astrophil and Stella. The collection of 108 sonnets tells of the main character, Astrophil’s, deep desire for an already married woman, Stella. Despite her marriage vows and her constant rejections, Astrophil is still convinced that she is meant for him, and throughout the text tries to rationalise his feelings, while ignoring those of Stella.
Of the many rationalisations he makes to comfort himself, the idea that Stella has the power in their relationship is a recurring one that he does not give up, which echoes current real life gender dynamics. The delusion that men make of female power being totally reliant on beauty and the denial of love is prevalent in society—the justification that men are allowed to ignore the opinions and consent of women due to the perceived power that they hold over men is a real thing, not just a theme in literature. In fact, the sonnets that Sydney writes are likely to be about his experience with Penelope Deveraux-Rich, a married woman he becomes attached to.
The themes of male entitlement and narcissism play a big role in this text, as well as the heavy reliance of the male perspective when viewing love and women. The rationale of female beauty as control only serves a misogynistic mindset, one that hopes to justify its disregard for women’s rights and autonomy while simultaneously tricking itself into believing that it is for love.
Astrophil and Stella’s beginning may seem quite innocent, a man writing about a young woman that he is in love with but can’t have for some reason. He goes on to describe her beauty and is in pain about what to do regarding his feelings for her. As the sonnets progress, we see that the reason that Astrophil, the speaker, cannot pursue Stella, his love, is because Stella is already married to another. This doesn’t stop Astrophil from obsessing over her still, writing about her appearance and how she “must not be happy” with her marriage. He makes many assumptions about her life like this, which may add some confusion as it seems like Stella is more involved in Astrophil’s life than she truly is. The only times when Stella is said to be in the same vicinity as Astrophil is when he is at the same jousting tournament as her and when she seemingly gives him a kiss. Besides that, there are also times when Astrophil hints at the multiple rejections that Stella gives him, often citing his flaws of ambition or her chastity as reasons. Despite never really having any relationship with Stella, Astrophil falls into despair when Stella finally starts avoiding him after another rejection. He still writes incessantly about her despite her calling off any form of acquaintanceship they had.
Sidney tries to frame the sonnets as romantic, something done out of intense love for a girl—this being understandable as Sidney most likely wrote about his actual experiences pining after Penelope Deveraux—and his readers at the time definitely saw it as so. However, modern readers are able to look past the sugar-coated diction of the poems and realize that something is amiss with Stella and Astrophil’s relationship.
The obvious fault in the sonnets is that despite the writing being so tied with Astrophil’s love for Stella, the latter never gets any say or power in the poems, making it extremely difficult to pinpoint what exactly Stella is thinking while Astrophil is trying to pursue her. While it may be true that Stella’s thoughts aren’t exactly clear, it should be even more important to see that Astrophil doesn’t really care about what she thinks. This may sound odd as the entirety of the sonnets are dedicated to her, but are they really? With Astrophil mostly talking about Stella’s appearance and the hold that she has on him because of it, it reads more so as sonnets about Astrophil himself and the struggle that he has with his grip on reality and his self-control.
In one instance, he tries to rationalise why anyone wouldn’t want to marry him, citing his ambition as his only flaw; “But one worse fault, ambition, I confess, / …Unseen, unheard, while thought to highest place / Bends all his powers, even unto Stella’s grace. / Because I often, in a dark abstracted mood, / Seem most alone among the greatest company” (27.11-16). Here, Astrophil tries to rationalise his flaws, the reasons why Stella wouldn’t choose him. The passage here indicates that he doesn’t think that he has any flaws, as the whole sonnet suggests that people think he is too prideful; “… I / Fawn on myself, and others do despise: / Yet pride I think doth not my soul possess” (27.7-9). However, he brushes it off and instead chooses to cite his “ambition” for going after Stella as his only weakness—effectively blaming Stella, the supposed object of love, for his only flaw.
This pattern of simultaneously adoring and blaming Stella goes on in the text. Stella’s descriptions are contrasted by her shining beauty and the depressive feelings that Astrophil has about not being able to have her. With really only her looks as an indicator of any affection that Astrophil has towards Stella, one has to question the legitimacy of the so-called “love” that Astrophil claims. The fact that we are mostly in a male speaker’s perspective on what he thinks his female beloved wants doesn’t help the tone of narcissism in the text and only adds to the idea that his plight with Stella is more so about his own sense of self and not the girl that he is obsessing over.
The idea of this somehow being an equal relationship in the eyes of the male perspective is also something to be discussed. Astrophil insists over and over again that Stella is the one with power over him as he is the one in love, and as a man in love, rejection by a woman is the greatest fear; “What, have I thus betray’d my liberty? / Can those black beams such burning marks engrave / In my free side? Or am I born a slave, / Whose neck becomes such yoke of tyranny?” (47.1-4). Here, Astrophil likens Stella’s eyes (mentioned over and over to be dark colored) as tools of engraving and himself a man lost of liberty because of the hold that she has on him. The equating of the male noblemen speaker to a slave all because he is infatuated with a woman shows a severe lack of self awareness in his position. In the passage, Stella is shown to have more power over Astrophil as he feels upset by her rejection after he sees her with her husband at a jousting tournament.
The idea that Stella has more power over Astrophil because of her beauty and her rejection of his claim to her creates a sort of fantasy in Astrophil’s head. He often knows he should feel embarrassed because of his persistence in chasing a married woman, however he never actually blames himself for his wrongdoings of pursuing Stella over and over despite countless rejections. He instead chooses to write himself as something to be pitied, as he does here by likening himself to a slave, as well as in sonnet 49 when he makes a comparison to himself as a horse and love as his rider. This tone of a power imbalance that favours Stella continues throughout the sonnets, to the point where Astrophil uses it as an excuse as to why he feels he should still go after her; “But this, in the end, is her sweetly breathed defense… / That, completely hers, he forgoes all thought of self” (61.18-21). The idea that a woman can be dangerous or threatening to men was and is common in literature. Both medieval and renaissance texts villainize women with power, such as Queen Eufeme from Silence or the wife in Bisclavret, however Astrophil and Stella reveal a different side to the dangers of women. Astrophil’s actions of obsessing over a girl he can’t have is definitely considered creepy and disrespectful of a woman’s autonomy (which will be talked about later), it’s more so worrisome to Astrophil himself that it makes him look foolish.
Philip Sidney wrote many instructional pieces with the target of young men. When reading Astrophil and Stella in this light, there is a disturbing message about women that Sidney tells to young men. Astrophil often says that his love for Stella is irrational and he knows that he shouldn’t be so infatuated with beauty when it fades, however, this is merely acknowledgment and nothing else; “Virtue, rouse yourself: beauty is only beauty: / I may, I must, I can, I will, I do” (47.23-24). The acknowledgment of his senselessness is meant to act as a bandaid for the whole other list of things that he does wrong, however he never pays any mind to. In fact, he even makes it out to be a strength, almost like owning up to a flaw that is only a flaw because others view it as such; “‘Art not asham’d to publish thy disease?’ / Nay, that may breed my fame, it is so rare” (34.5-6). This act of simply saying that he knows he is being irrational but never fixing it tells the audience that he doesn’t feel the need to fix it and that by owning up to the flaw and using it to his advantage, he can convey a sort of individualism that is supposed to be admirable.
Stella’s power or control over Astrophil is the main reason why Astrophil feels that his actions are justified in continuously pursuing her. His perceived power of Stella is based solely on her looks and nothing else; “Rich in all beauties which man’s eye can see: / Beauties so far from reach of words, that we / Abase her praise, saying she doth excel” (37.6-9). Stella is described as being other worldly, almost god-like, alluding to her power in beauty. Of course, this “power” that Stella has over Astrophil is completely made up—he is simply just infatuated with her beauty and she is not able to reject him in a way that means anything. This illusion of female power through beauty is common in literature as well, however in this instance where a man feels so entitled to that beauty and the woman does not reciprocate, this illusion of power works to encourage the man to keep pursuing it. The power that Astrophil sees in Stella allows him to justify chasing her, as in his mind, no matter how obvious the power imbalance is of a young girl and a fully grown man trying to sleep with her, it is all in her control because he sees her as more powerful, when in reality her beauty does not give her any more control over the situation.
The recurring themes of male entitlement and delusion create a very modern scene in the sonnets. One reminiscent of a stalker-victim relationship. The stalking for love trope shows up in numerous pieces of literature and media and actively works to normalize predatory behaviour in men in the name of love. Twilight, 10 Things I Hate About You, Big Fish, are just some examples of modern films that romanticise this idea of men stalking due to “love.” Astrophil’s behaviour is not very different from the leading men in these films. The belief in love, at first sight, plays a big role, as most of the time the female victims in these types of stories are made the object of desire for the male stalker because of their beauty. In reality, love, at first sight, doesn’t exist however the belief that it does can lead to a stalker relationship, as the perpetrator gives unwanted attention to the victim just because of their appearance, as in Astrophil and Stella. The mixture of the love at-first-sight fantasy and male entitlement to women leads to a stalker mentality in men, where the opinions of a woman are unimportant but her beauty is able to make delusional men think that they are in love.
Astrophil and Stella may even be more disturbing than more modern adaptations of the trope, including that Astrophil had planned to marry Stella when she was only twelve, but doesn’t for “both their sake” (33.25). And going back to the instructional aspect of the sonnets, Astrophil is meant to show young men what they should do when they want a woman. Again, the faults of Astrophil are unimportant, it’s what he says about Stella and the pain that he falls into because of her that the intended audience is supposed to pay mind to. In this particular story, the woman is able to get away from her stalker by avoiding him, however many that experience real world stalking by entitled, delusional men can’t and don’t.
This idea that women are actually in control over men is not a new one, and has gained disturbing popularity on social media with misogynistic men. The mindset that women have more power over men by their looks, and that men will do anything for the woman of their dreams only works when assuming that the woman’s autonomy and opinions are valued—which has never been the case (the statistics and abundance of rape and femicide committed by men prove this). Astrophil and Stella shows and glorifies this strange comfort in the fixation of female beauty as a cover up for sexist and objectifying behaviour, and still holds a relevant message about gender roles and the delusion of female power over men.
Works Cited
Fienberg, Nona. “The Emergence of Stella in Astrophil and Stella.” Studies in English Literature,
1500-1900, vol. 25, no. 1, 1985, pp. 5–19. JSTOR, https://doi.org/10.2307/450626.
Holmes, Deanna. “Sir Phillip Sydney: Astrophil and Stella.” Pressbook Hub,
https://pressbooks.pub/earlybritishlit/chapter/sir-philip-sidney-from-astrophil-and-stella/
McIntosh, Jonathan. “Stalking for Love.” Pop Culture Detective, Youtube, 28 February 2018,
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rZ1MPc5HG_I
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