I\u2019m working really hard on my wellness. This time at the support group I finally feel like I have some real tools to manage the symptoms and the flashbacks. The flashbacks are the worst, especially because so many things have occurred in the apartment I live in. I can\u2019t afford to move. I\u2019ve been in the same apartment for so many years that bad things have happened in every room. I could just lie in bed and remember being harmed. So one of the things that I learned through support group over the last couple months, now that my son moved out, is to reclaim my room. I repainted it and I put new fabrics and new furniture inside. It\u2019s my room. It\u2019s my space. It\u2019s my sanctuary. Even when I have company for sex at my house I don\u2019t use that room. It needs to be a memory-free room.<\/p>\n
It\u2019s one of my ways of managing trauma, especially when it comes to sex. I need a bed that I can go to that doesn\u2019t have anything attached to it. I find that very useful. There are nights that I lay in bed, my primary bed, and I can\u2019t stay there. Just because I\u2019ll be remembering being sexually assaulted in my own bed. I\u2019ve been really trying hard to change all that. Change the memories in my house, rearrange the furniture, paint the rooms, whatever I can. It\u2019s because of the support group that I\u2019ve started being able to do all those things.<\/p>\n
I didn\u2019t even think I was going to get this far in the group. I didn\u2019t really know what to expect but I got what I came for. I wasn\u2019t even going to go for the second round (of therapy) until I realized that I still wanted to do more and feel even better. That\u2019s really what I want to say about my journey. I\u2019ve really been committed to being well. It\u2019s been a very long journey to try and reconcile the past and try and heal from the sexual trauma.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I\u2019m working really hard on my wellness. This time at the support group I finally feel like I have some real tools to manage the symptoms and the flashbacks. The flashbacks are the worst, especially because so many things have … Continue reading