Looking back on my journey so far this year, I am really impressed with the amount I have grown as a professional and as an educator. At the beginning, I knew I had the potential and passion to be a successful teacher. I was confident in my innate abilities and the skills I had acquired up to that point. I cared a lot about using the knowledge I was gaining from the classroom and the experiences observing my mentor to help me draft and implement strong lessons. I had the preparedness and motivation to be a great teacher, I just didn’t have the confidence and comfortability yet. 

You can tell from the earliest footage of my teaching accompanied by my journal entries that I was not sure about myself in the leadership role of a teacher. I was trying to balance authority and friendliness. I was unsure how to create routines and which behaviors were acceptable and which were not. This uncertainty and difficulty navigating those nuances of being in charge were difficult for me as an emerging teacher. You can easily hear it in my tone of voice, see it in my body language and it clearly translated to the students.

As I watched more and more videos however, I noticed slight changes. I do not think by any means I am fully developed as a teacher or that I cannot grow any further. I recognize that I have a lot of work to do ahead of me. I did realize that my demeanor and presence in the front of the classroom was much better and stronger than it was at the beginning of the year. This helped my students relax and focus on the material. They could rely on established routines and expectations for behavior. They used these expectations to succeed and this helped me relax too. 

My lessons are less cramped and more focused around the direct needs of the students in front of me. I feel confident in front of my class, as well as subbing for other teachers in the building. I like to explore and challenge my students and myself in the classroom. I think I have developed a professional attitude and respect amongst the students and staff in the building. This has all allowed me to be more confident as a teacher and thus have better engagement and management in the class. Most importantly, this confidence allows me to let go off control slightly and let students take more agency and ownership over their education. This makes learning more fun and memorable for them and more meaningful for our class. I am excited to continue to grow and learn how to improve and prepare to gradually improve more and more as I move into a career as an educator.